i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
