but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
