the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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