If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
