I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They have beer where we have blood.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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