I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
