I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
