Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
