I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
