I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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