I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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