i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
