You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
