their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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