how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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