So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
