he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
