Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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