And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
