Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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