Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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