I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
