Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
