sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
