I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize