Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
