Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I had to cum in my sink.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
