Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
