Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
