no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
