It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
