It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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