Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
