The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
