if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You may now shotgun with the bride
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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