stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
