the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
