Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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