we have pet lesbian snakes
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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