No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
