I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
