i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
