YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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