Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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