Only a mothe r could love this liver
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
