I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
