I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize