Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
