why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
