After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
