is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
worst night to have a conscience
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
