We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
