SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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