My friends, they love my intelligence
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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