Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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