Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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