ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
