You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
