its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
