just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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