Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
