they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
...so i touched it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
