You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
