I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
