I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Randomize
