my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
