Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
