So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You left your phone here
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