I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
