If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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